Tag Archives: empty nests

Noticing Other’s Nests

17 Aug

This spring created a lot of empty nests for friends and acquaintances. I have been surprised by the number of divorces following the emptying of the nest. Various reasons have been given for the divorces.

Empty nest presents the moment when you look at your spouse and there isn’t any distractions. We have aged nearly 30 years since we were smitten with each other. I keep thinking if those couples had just waited a bit….. Or maybe they were thinking they had waited long enough!

The movie “Hope Springs” captures one such couple. They have been sleeping in separate bedrooms for the past few years and haven’t had sex in 5 years. We watch their routine lives and it appears the husband is fine with the status quo and the wife wants to rekindle or move on. What made me think the most, was we discover the husband misses what they once had and finally reaches out to get back what they once had.

If someone asked me…..I would say “wait…..it is fun to find your friendship again and be able to do things just for us.”
Yes there are the moments I look at my husband and really am not madly in love with him. I am sure that is what he is thinking too at times (although surely not…..I’m perfect….right?” There is something to say about weathering it all, making it through and then understanding it is a new beginning. I recently returned from visiting our daughter, and when I returned my husband said “I really hate when you aren’t here. I finally figured out that I feel off balanced when you are gone. Nothing feels right” His answer surprised me as he seems often swimming in his own lap lane while I tread water off on my own.

It is a great movie – very thought-provoking. And, even better was watching an older woman sitting in front of me. Every embarrassing moment she covered her eyes and couldn’t watch.

If you look for a friend in your spouse, it may just be possible to see that person is still there.