Tag Archives: Aging

Menopause Muddle

1 Oct

She saw me coming. I was totally ripe for the picking. When I turned that corner a bell began to ring in that girl’s head. “Yep she is the one……”

I was shopping in Whole Foods without a list. Don’t do that! It is dangerous because it means your bill will double as you will wander through the store looking at everything. I know better and usually have a handy dandy list that send me straight to exactly what I need and no more! I write my list in order of the store’s lay out. I can’t remember important things but I have memorized the layout of every grocery store.

Is that why stores move or “reset” their stock occasionally? So we have to wander around looking for the coffee which is now where the cereal used to be? Force us to look around and treasure hunt our list which is no longer in the correct order? 

I digress………

Perhaps their are minions whose only job is to point out easy marks to the sales reps? Was there a spotlight highlighting me to this young woman?  I think in her training they told her “Look for the middle aged women – they are your target!” 

She asked so innocently, “Would you care for a sample?” I looked down and saw she had “brain toniq” and “trim toniq”  Yep – that’s what every middle aged woman needs – to uncloud her brain and drop 5 pounds. She saw me coming. 

Instead of being insulted – (Hey the truth hurts but it is still the truth) I sampled and I bought both. 


So today I am having a “I would like to eat the contents of my refrigerator” moment and remembered the drinks. (Clearly I didn’t need the brain toniq) 

It has no caffeine, no stimulants and no hoodie Just natural herbs and supplements. 

It works!! I am so no compelled to munch away. Sure it could be placebo, but who cares? Its working! 

Before I play Words With Friends I’m going for the brain toniq. 

My oldest son saw the drinks. He just shook his head. Yea, whatever….desperate times call for desperate


yes – I know it is sideways but no matter what I try wordpress likes it that way. Maybe I need the brain toniq.



Wisdom of Pooh

7 Feb

For the Superbowl, we gathered with a few neighbors for the ritual of football and too much food. As the game began we noticed the men had congregated on one side of the room and the women were on the other side. When one woman commented about our “middle school party” situation one of the husbands who clearly had one ear on our conversation said “That is because we are at a Superbowl party…..to watch the Superbowl.”

Yea, yea we caught the high-points – men yell during football – so we knew when to look. And we paused to watch the commercials and half time show.

My daughter had just texted me that her sort of boyfriend (she says they broke up but he seems around a lot) and his friends didn’t show for the Superbowl party he had requested and now had way to much pizza and was annoyed. I am ready for this guy to hit the road – he is very nice – but he is his own obstacle. I commented to my neighbor “I think my daughter is trying to fix him.” My neighbor commented she tried to fix several boyfriends before she met her husband. Then she asked which Winnie The Pooh character I liked as a kid. Both she and I had an Eeyore. We both had hoped to love Eeyore enough to get him to smile. We wanted to ‘fix’ poor Eeyore.

My neighbor said “Now I wouldn’t have patience for Eeyore. Get over yourself Eeyore!” I commented “Hey you would be in a bad mood too if you walked around with a tack in your ass. Let go of the tail Eeyore – move on with your life and forget about the tail!” He was seriously obsessed with the perfect tail, constantly losing his tail, looking for his tail and enduring a painful reattachment of the tail! Another neighbor looked at both of us and said “It was Winnie The Pooh all the way.”

Not sure we actually hit on some deep wisdom or too much wine.

Another Reason An Empty Nest is Good

20 Jan

I never took a lot of vacations without my kids when my kids were little. I was one of those neurotic moms who was sure their kids would fall apart or worse should I be so selfish.

Both of our kids grandmother’s were on the older range of grandparents. OK, I did ask my mother to babysit and to my surprise she said “No thanks”. She loved her grandkids but didn’t want to have to run them around and take care of them overnight. Seriously, it was a lot of work!

So now as I readily pack up and go off on trips, I now appreciate the empty nest. It has taken me over a year to settle into appreciating the next phase of life. I’m a slow learner. I still miss the everyday moments of just being with my kids – although perhaps my oldest son’s boomerang back to home for his senior year helps. It helps to see your kids enjoying their independent lives. Let me revise – partially independent. We still foot the bills!

But I like the freedom that has arrived with an empty nest. It has taken a while to not focus on the empty part, but now I am seeing life beyond the nest. I have strangers, friends and acquaintances asking how long does it take to adjust – for me 18 months. For my neighbor – 1 day.

I have some catching up to do…….

On vacation in Steamboat Springs!

A project I needed

10 Nov

I just returned from being with my daughter in California. The toughest part of this trip was really facing facts,
1. I was visiting her home.
2. She has her own very busy life
3. I served no purpose as she didn’t “need” me (with the exception of my credit card)
All of those combined made me feel as worthwhile as a jack a lantern the day after Halloween.
Ok, maybe not decaying and turning moldy, but nevertheless. I had driven out to Cali which meant I had to drive back to Colorado.That is a lot of time to think too much. Seriously amazing I didn’t just drive off all Thelma and Louise. I arrived home to an empty house. (but seriously – could my husband ever go through the mail and throw out the obviously junk mail?)
My oldest son called to see where I was. When I replied “home” he announced he was hungry and where was I taking him for lunch. Over lunch he was talking about a project due the following day and how he was unsure how to actually do the project.

My ears perked up as he talked about the project. OK – they didn’t but when you have 3 dogs – it seems like my ears could perk up.
It sounded like a project coming. So as the evening came on and he finally decided he could procrastinate no longer (well he could – but not if he expected me to help) He began to work on his poster boards for his video.
I kept asking why are you doing it this way? What are you trying to convey? The next thing I knew I was rummaging through the basement and bringing up a Barbie car and multiple Barbie dwellings. (Sometimes it pays not to get rid of crap. My daughter is 18 – why am I holding on to Barbie? *Sigh*)
We spent the evening creating a 3 minute movie for his project. And, I have to say we were laughing our asses off. I needed that dose of fun and most of all feel needed. The best part of the evening was having my 23 year old ask my opinion. I loved when we watched the finished movie and he said “OK do you think it is good? And not in a mom way where you think everything I do is good.”
Welcome home.

Clean is not my hobby

26 Oct

One of the downfalls of your kids growing up is – I have time to clean and contemplate my own filth. Yes – my own filth. So I find myself cleaning everything. I found this great product you put in the disposal and it foams and cleans everything out of the inside of the disposal. Why does that make me happy?
I went to visit my daughter a few weeks ago as she was moving to a new apartment. I know she was busy and her roomies were busy too – but wow was it disgusting. I would always clean my apartment before my mom arrived. I didn’t want her to see that I had not changed from the messy teen that I had been! Normally I would describe my daughter as a neat and tidy person. This is the toddler who screamed until I would come in and pick up a (as in 1) stuffed animal that wasn’t in its proper place.
Her roommate announced “Well I knew you were coming and like to clean.” NOOOOO!!!! A person who likes to clean??? I don’t like to clean. What I like is a clean house. A neat, clean room makes me feel calm. After three kids I am entitled to a bit of clean and tidy and a whole lot of calm.
I am concerned however, as I find myself coveting products. I love the Oxy toilet bowl cleaner that foams purple and changes to white when it is clean. I want a steam mop. My neighbor had an electric mop – which worked fabulous. I bought one, but they changed it and mine doesn’t thrill me as much as hers did.
I used to call my mother the white tornado. Now at age 87, she doesn’t care about the piles of newspaper next to her chair or the stacks of books on her table. Is this my future? Now that I think about it, I clean her house too when I visit. Wow – I need a hobby……..or a steam mop.

What Were They Thinking

19 Oct

I just finished a solo drive from Denver to Los Angeles. The drive provides more than ample time to contemplate. A long part of the drive through Utah is void of houses, people, cars and animals. There are very few cattle, antelope and certainly no feral hogs trotted across my path.
I started thinking about the people who came before me. What made those people keep going.
They were made of much tougher material than I. I am flying at 80 miles an hour down a smooth highway in a climate controlled pod with satellite radio, Iphone (not a lot of service I noticed) and my Starbucks venti iced tea. When my butt gets tired I click on the seat warmer and move the seat position around.
I can’t imagine this crossing on a horse or on a wooden seat on a wagon wondering where the next water would be. And how slow would that be….and why would you keep going? There are sections of southern Utah that look like the moon – (not that I’ve been there) but it is solid rock for miles – a salt wash, canyons and canyons of rock. Why would you keep going?
If you sang at the top of your lungs any animals you hoped to shoot would flee and you might attract Indians – who would do a mercy kill for all within listening range.
How long would you have do go to get another iced tea or water – Oh yea – there wasn’t refrigeration.
No AAA if the wagon wheel snaps. I have CNN, FOX, hundreds of music channels and hundreds of songs on my IPhone. I can flip my navigation system on to find the next town and plan my stop.
There weren’t stops – there wasn’t anyone – they didn’t know what would be over the next pass. Why did they keep going?
They couldn’t check Facebook to see what their friends and family were doing. Couldn’t even mail a letter. When I stop for another Starbucks and some gas and to use a restroom. I check email and play Words with Friends.
I called my mom, my cousin, my friend Kristin, my daughter….
Come to think about it – I wouldn’t have liked this crossing 10 years ago either.

Driving Through Utah

Using a bit of muscle and mind

17 Oct

View from Royal Arch

My husband and I went on a hike yesterday near Boulder. It was a perfect mostly blue sky day, upper 50’s. There were a lot of people on the trail. Not unexpected as it has been snowing in the high country and the trailhead is just outside of Boulder. On a Boulder Trail website there is a description:
“Royal Arch Trail is a nice but somewhat aerobically challenging trail leading to a natural sandstone arch at the top that also features a great view of the Boulder valley. The trail isn’t very challenging technically but does involve a good ascent in a short distance – 1270 or so feet in 1.4 miles”
Let me translate. “Somewhat aerobically challenging” Means you will use your hands to climb up large boulders. “isn’t very challenging technically” means you will use your hands to pull your raggedy ass up large sections of the trail instead of having a rope to pull yourself up. The rope would make it “technical”.
The good thing was that it was only 1.4 miles up. And it did have incredible views. There were ferns growing amongst the boulders and mounds of moss. There are springs that must run during the snow melt.
I wore a University of Texas shirt (my alumnus) which turned out to be the conversation starter as we greeted other hikers on the trail. And, while I loved the view which was amazing I was most curious about the trailhead. I had never been to Chautauqua state park. I assumed it was just a parking lot with trailheads and perhaps a bathroom.
Chautauqua State Park was full of all these cool old cabins up and down small streets with a dining hall and other structures. So I had to look it up –
“On July 4, 1898, over 4,000 people gathered for the opening day of the Colorado Chautauqua. Boulder civic leaders and Texas educators had joined together to create a cultural and educational summer retreat. Today, the Colorado Chautauqua is one of three remaining Chautauquas in the United States, and the only site west of the Mississippi River, in continuous operation, with its original structures intact.”
Whats a Chautauqua? Well apparently it was a movement to provide vacations to everyone and not just the wealthy.
“Before radio and television, the Chautauqua Movement united millions in common cultural and educational experiences. Orators, performers, and educators traveled a national Chautauqua circuit of more than 12,000 sites bringing lectures, performances, concerts, classes, and exhibitions to thousands of people in small towns and cities. Theodore Roosevelt called Chautauquas, “the most American thing in America.”
You know you are old when the history is more compelling than the hike.