Clutter is not a decorative feature

26 Feb

My mother had an interesting observation about her life.  She commented she knows she leaves her sitting room (where she sits, enjoys tea, reads the paper and follows Antique Roadshow in a manner fitting a 10 year old Bieber fan) in a state of clutter.  She not only admits it is cluttered, but knows why the stacks of magazines, catalogues with beautiful clothes and shoes which she will never order and clippings of articles she has cut out but yet to send to others pile up around her.  The clutter makes her feel less lonely, less isolated, less alone.  The piles fill up the empty spaces where there might have been people, friends, family.

Having an empty nest, I could totally understand what she was feeling. I have noticed that I leave my laptop on the kitchen island these days and a pile of unfinished work starts gathering.  When my kids were home, I never would have done that.  I was more organized more neat. Perhaps I am also filling spaces where a child should be sitting doing homework, creating yet another poster of a timeline of something they will not recall once the poster is transported to school. (Do the makers of elmers glue and posterboard give teachers a kickback?)

An idea for a passion - travel?

There is a void to fill. My father has passed away. I live in a different state as do two of my brothers. One brother lives in the same small town as my mother, but he has a life and while he seems to be stopping more often to see her, he is busy.  I look at my own life. We moved to Colorado when I was turning 40. It was the hardest thing I have done. I am still trying to figure out who moved my cheese.

Now my kids are out of the house and I am trying to figure out how to clutter my own life to not notice the void. My daughter came home this weekend. She actually had work to bring her home – a table read for a pilot she has been cast in – and hurrah! is shooting in Colorado.  In anticipation of her arrival – I was filled with energy. I couldn’t miss the change in my demeanor.

I think I have found why I keep gaining weight despite a religious attendance of spinning classes.  The lists are helping. I did call the CPA, finish gathering all my paperwork and delivered everything including a pint of plasma the IRS seems to demand. I am usually the person slugging the papers to the CPA around April 1. February!! I did it in February!!  And they were even beautifully organized. Each category tallied and in its own folder!  Perhaps that is a silver lining.

I am going to try to avoid the clutter that seems to be reproducing itself much like the bunnies that are vigorously eating my yard.  (Another battle for another day) I am going to continue to purge the drawers and cabinets and backs of closets to try to live more by having less to keep up with and care for.  I hope I can discover a talent or a passion to replace filling the empty spaces with clutter.

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