There is tomorrow

13 Jan

Well – organizing files isn’t a one day job. But shredder is working overtime.  But there is one thing I just can’t get out of my mind.  How do you know you were a good parent?

Seriously, I wish there could be a crystal ball, a path. I always tried to let my kids be individuals and accept them for who they are. My middle kid is very shy. I get that.

But what I don’t get is why at age 20 he is still so disrespectful and can be really unkind. Case in point- this past weekend he was returning to college. He asked for either me or my husband to drive with him. It is  a 10-12 hour drive and he has never loved driving. So I agreed to go along. ( actually his dad was on call ) I like spending one on one time with my kids. We had to leave a day early because of weather. He wanted me to start the drive, I agreed but said he had to drive some. Its not that I can’t drive 10 hours straight – I’ve done 16 hours on several occasions. It doesn’t bother me. I think I was a long haul trucker in a previous life. (Definitely no ancient Queen or Princess in a past life) But when we stopped it had started to snow and he wouldn’t drive. He got rather short with me when I said “C’mon you drive some.” Fine. We eventually arrived at the hotel. The next day he could get into his dorm.

I let him sleep late, finally at 10 a.m. waking him up. I said lets go get some lunch when your ready and we can haul your stuff up to your room. I looked up movie times and thought of thing we could do together. (It’s a small town and it was snowing – not a lot of options)

He responded that we needed to get his parking permit first. So we did and then we hauled his stuff back up to his dorm room. I asked “So where would you like to get lunch? And, what do you want to do?”

He responded that he didn’t want lunch and that he was dropping me off at the hotel for the remainder of the day. He would see me for dinner and oh yea – taxis are available to take me to the airport the following morning.

It has been 4 days and I am still hurt beyond belief. Am I wrong to be hurt? I remember college – wanting to hang with your friends. My parents never drove me back to school, so I don’t have a great point of reference.  I told the story to his older brother, who found the situation incredulous  He says he would have never done that.

It was a snowy day, I spent it drinking a lot of tea and reading. Not bad. There have been days I would have loved to have had that luxury. But it felt like a punishment. Being me, I can’t help wonder what I did wrong as a parent. Perhaps another year of maturity will make a difference. I felt punched and still feel that dull feeling. I guess kids never know what it feels like until they become parents themselves.

And yes, there is tomorrow.

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One Response to “There is tomorrow”

  1. Luann Johnson February 1, 2011 at 10:37 pm #

    That boy! I am so sorry that happened to you. You didn’t do anything wrong raising him, he is just going thru a A**h_ phase. Please tell his brother to slap him up the side of the head for me! 😛

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