Spinning compass

2 Feb

I recently had a good friend read my blog. His reaction was, first, surprise as he said “You are the most private person I know.” and secondly “what is your point, what is refeatheringthenest?”.

I do dislike sharing my inner thoughts. It is exposure of the soul to whomever googles empty nest or any other tag. So, why the blog? I have spent the past year with actors. My daughter is an actress. She lives in Los Angeles, pursuing her dream. I admire the way she is completely open with her emotions and all information about herself just spills out. Of course as the mother, I sometimes wished she could put a lid on some of those emotions. Perhaps, it is what I learned over the past year. I won’t perish from allowing someone to view into my thoughts. And, perhaps it is freeing.

Refeatheringthenest? Well, to me it was a no brainer. My nest is incomplete – there is a void in my life. The nest needs to be refeathered, fixed. My friend has a two year old and a home filled with interesting  people and actors at all times. His nest has so many feathers it will never need to be refeathered.  My home is silent. There is no wind to resettle the feathers that need to be adjusted to fill voids. The house feels huge and naked and impersonal.

And, as tempting as it is to crawl under the covers (ok – I will confess I have given in to that temptation – once) I am embarking on this journey in a hope to fill the voids. In many ways I feel like the kids took the best part of me when they left.  I am not single, I have been married over 25 years. But I married a man whose career was always first and foremost. The kids and I became a separate unit.  It has been a very long time since I thought about who I was.

I have to start this journey with the gifts I have.  I had an interior design business for 20 years. My step towards my own life begins with my home. I am looking around and not loving what I see.  I had my dream home which I designed just for my family, with the most spectacular view of Pikes Peak. But my kids chose schools 45 minutes away for middle school and high school and the drive defeated me. So now I have a house that was 10 minutes from their school. But wow does it need some help.  But, my budget is strained by college tuition and subsidizing an actor’s dream.  My plan is to see what I can do on a limited budget. Who knows where this journey will go. But over the next year I will try new techniques and look for great finds for the home. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 1: I am in L.A. this week, so  I have to hit F&S fabric (www.fandsfabrics.com)

And yes, still working on those 5 last lbs!! Thank goodness for Runyon Canyon. http://www.laparks.org/dos/parks/facility/runyonCanyonPk.htm    If you are visiting L.A. – It is a must do.

How is your nest?

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